Ron Business Plan #7- Dear Prospective "Slender You" Salon Owner:
Congratulations on your decision to take control of your life, be your own boss, and help thousands, nay,
millions of women become slender goddesses through use of the Slender You fitness system. Your
parents raised a fine child, now a groundbreaking adult.
At Slender You, we don't just build motorized exercise equipment, we build a business. Since 1983,
Slender You Figure Salons have been providing successful opportunities for savvy entrepreneurs and
"newcomers" alike all around the world. That's why we can truly say, "We're not just in the 'equipment
building' business, we're in the 'salon building' business."
As you well know, Slender You is dedicated to the highest standards of fitness in the exercise industry.
Since 1983, Slender You has led the industry in keeping older adults active and producing tangible
results. Let those posers at Curves try and claim that. They can't. I know it for a fact. A God given fact.
Hey, we're from Tennessee; we know a thing or two about God and his facts.
So, as I was saying, you are to be congratulated for your insight as to what women not only want in a
fitness salon, but what they need. No woman in her right mind wants to go to a "gym," now does she?
No, she wants to go to a "salon" where she can tone and shape her lovely body in a way that won't get
her all sweaty and tired. She wants to feel invigorated and joyful. Besides, a proper lady wouldn't be
caught dead in a dark, smelly gym filled with ape-men grunting and lifting heavy weights. How gauche!
No, you know what women want. They want products like these. Who could resist a full body workout
on these, state-of the-art, made in the U.S. of A., solid-state, fully electric toning machines. Priced at
around $4,000 each, they may seem expensive, but hey, you know they're best in the industry. Our
products are proven to produce results. Our very own, independently funded, double-blind test
conducted by Dr. Stephen Sinatra, MLD., F.A.C.C. and Director of the New England Heart Center in
Hartford, CT. I bet Curves never did a double-blind study. Pussies. I mean, obviously inferior and
watered down fitness system.
During each 60 minute workout session, women, seniors and all customers use the 6 different exercise
toning machines to increase their energy, mobility, flexibility, and endurance. Each exercise toning
machine can handle 6 customers per hour, 12 or more hours per day. Keep an eye on the vibrating table,
though. Some of these old fatties, er, customers love that goddamn table so much, you'll have to hire
security to enforce the 10 minute limit. It's our fault really; our equipment is that good!
Making money with our system is almost guaranteed. Motorized exercise is the way God meant for us to
exercise. I think it's even in the Bible, somewhere after "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife or ass
(or neighbor's wife's ass after she's been on our leg machine!)" but before Jesus fed all those people
with a fish and a loaf of bread, if I'm not mistaken. Again, we're from Tennessee, so we know what God
wants us to do. You do want to do God's will, don't you? Thought so. And God wants you to be
prosperous by using our system.
Let's face it; America is full of lazy sumbitches looking for the next easiest shortcut to being a sleek sexy
hunk of meat. You can't get much easier than our Slender You system. Ten minutes on each of our
"tonerriffic" machines and them ladies will be thinking they're that Pam Anderson chick from Baywatch,
just before the whole Tommy Lee and Hepatitis C thing. Who wouldn't? The only way fitness could be
any easier is if the machine did the work for you, oh wait, that's exactly what our machines do. Wow, this
really is the perfect fitness opportunity. I really have to read our literature more closely next time.
In conclusion, there should be little doubt in your mind that ponying up the $24,000 for just six machines
is totally worth it. Just look at what you'll get when you do: $1,000 worth of advertising; factory training
in your salon; color brochures; weight charts; and, best of all, an official certificate of accreditation. One
look at that certificate, and they'll be lining up to hand you money. The customers will be coming in
herds.
Just keep an eye on the vibrating table. There are a lot of lonely fat women out there.
Best of Luck to You!
Bob and Diane Clark
Founders and Owners of Slender You
Since 1983