Red Dawn has - how should I put this? - failed to stand the test of time in many ways,
though some would argue that it is pretty relevant in today's currently unstable global
climate. However, despite this, I still think it's the best movie with Patrick Swayze in it...
ever. Well, maybe except for Road House; that's another post though.
This flick is full of complete improbabilities, including Patrick Swayze having a girlfriend.
I do not mind improbabilities. I like them; my favorite movies ever are completely
improbable.
The LAMEST part of Red Dawn is a scene I have lovingly named "WHEN HELICOPTERS
ATTACK!" This scene is lame for a number of reasons, which I will itemize now.
1- While gathering food, our heroes are surprised by a giant Russian attack helicopter.
The Russian helicopter make a strafing run on our heroes, striking one of the girls and
causing her down jacket to explode feathers out the front. Our heroes then gather the
wounded, jump on horseback and begin to flee. Apparently, the giant depleted-uranium
round fired at several thousand feet per second from the chopper's main cannon does
the same damage as any other bullet fired from a handgun.
Also, can't helicopters hover?
2- While galloping away, the psycho kid with the rocket propelled grenade gets his horse
shot and falls off. He then seeks cover behind a sandstone formation (Weren't we in the
forest just a second ago?) and uses said RPG. Psycho kid fires on the giant Russian
death machine, hits a crewman in the helicopter, and kills him. The helicopter,
apparently dazed, kinda flies around for a while and leaves the frame. Psycho kid breaks
cover, amazed by the shot he made. Psycho kid sees more helicopters coming towards
him, pulls his bandanna over his face, yells, "Wolverines!" and begins to fire upon the
helicopters, from the hip, with his AK. He is then killed in a storm of depleted uranium
rounds fired from several more Russian helicopters. Good tactics, Bro.
3- Where did the helicopters go? Patrick Swayze says a tearful goodbye to his girlfriend.
She tells him to leave her and run to safety, which he does with the remaining heroes.
Why did they leave her in the first place after having her loaded onto the horse?
So, in conclusion, Red Dawn, while a classic and loved by rednecks and punkers
everywhere, is really lame. But, you know what?
WOLVERINES!
though some would argue that it is pretty relevant in today's currently unstable global
climate. However, despite this, I still think it's the best movie with Patrick Swayze in it...
ever. Well, maybe except for Road House; that's another post though.
This flick is full of complete improbabilities, including Patrick Swayze having a girlfriend.
I do not mind improbabilities. I like them; my favorite movies ever are completely
improbable.
The LAMEST part of Red Dawn is a scene I have lovingly named "WHEN HELICOPTERS
ATTACK!" This scene is lame for a number of reasons, which I will itemize now.
1- While gathering food, our heroes are surprised by a giant Russian attack helicopter.
The Russian helicopter make a strafing run on our heroes, striking one of the girls and
causing her down jacket to explode feathers out the front. Our heroes then gather the
wounded, jump on horseback and begin to flee. Apparently, the giant depleted-uranium
round fired at several thousand feet per second from the chopper's main cannon does
the same damage as any other bullet fired from a handgun.
Also, can't helicopters hover?
2- While galloping away, the psycho kid with the rocket propelled grenade gets his horse
shot and falls off. He then seeks cover behind a sandstone formation (Weren't we in the
forest just a second ago?) and uses said RPG. Psycho kid fires on the giant Russian
death machine, hits a crewman in the helicopter, and kills him. The helicopter,
apparently dazed, kinda flies around for a while and leaves the frame. Psycho kid breaks
cover, amazed by the shot he made. Psycho kid sees more helicopters coming towards
him, pulls his bandanna over his face, yells, "Wolverines!" and begins to fire upon the
helicopters, from the hip, with his AK. He is then killed in a storm of depleted uranium
rounds fired from several more Russian helicopters. Good tactics, Bro.
3- Where did the helicopters go? Patrick Swayze says a tearful goodbye to his girlfriend.
She tells him to leave her and run to safety, which he does with the remaining heroes.
Why did they leave her in the first place after having her loaded onto the horse?
So, in conclusion, Red Dawn, while a classic and loved by rednecks and punkers
everywhere, is really lame. But, you know what?
WOLVERINES!
