Not to sound like a total goth, but I really don't much care for the outdoors. There are people outside; there's trash; there are Harley Davidson motorcycles (which can kiss my ass); there are taxis. I hate taxis. Yeah, I like to skateboard and I love to snowboard, but I'd much prefer roofs over the respective venues for these activities. I understand that's not possible. I can live with that. I tolerate the outdoors because I enjoy those activities, not the other way around.
Okay, it's not so much that I don't like the outdoors. It's more the light than anything else, specifically the sun. It's weird but I've become increasingly photosensitive over the years. That's why I don't use a white background on my site. It's getting to the point that I am having a lot of trouble looking at Google or the blank page of a Word document. In fact, writing this is pretty painful and I'm one step away from purchasing some sort of goggles or sunglasses for working on the computer, which is really the height of cool. Ask anybody. Weren't we previously able to adjust the tint on our screens? Who decided to get rid of that?
Lame.
Regarding the outdoors, people in the Bay Area act like we live in some sort of glorious natural habitat, which is utter bullshit. The truth is that this area used to be beautiful, then humans showed up and wrecked the place - as we are so good at doing. Now we have drab concrete highways, skyscrapers, asphalt, strip-malls and car dealerships as far as the eye can see. Not that I really have much against city living, but it's not natural. I even like it sometimes, but it's really stupid that Bay Area residents act so environmentally conscious when all we have, that's even close to a wildlife preserve, is the Oakland Estuary (which nobody cares about). But, walk up to any yuppie asshole playing Frisbee on the Marina Green, or jogging at the Berkeley Marina, and ask them what their position is on drilling Alaska's oil reserves. I'm sure the answer will be ironic.
Now for the twist (M. Night Shayamalamalama would be proud):
I tire of San Francisco and the Bay Area as a whole. Truthfully, for the last two years, or so, I've longed to move away from the Bay Area. I stay here because my wife likes it and she hopes that it will help her career. Also, all my friends are here. Additionally, I'm too big a pussy to ever give up my current job. I don't know how to do anything else that would pay as well. Yet, I want to see snow in the Winter and I don't ever want to see crackheads, thug-life retards or transvestite hookers anymore. The allure of this city has all but gone (friends and restaurants excepted).
With every passing year, I find myself hating SF more and more for all the reasons I used to love it. Perhaps this is because of my work? Perhaps this is because I've grown older? Or, maybe, it's because this place really does suck. NYC is a city that has it right. NYC is a beautiful, smart, sexy, well-dressed and sophisticated woman. The Bay Area is the mannequin made up to look like her. We're a bad circus and it's fun for a while, then it just gets infuriating.
You know who else had it right? Dr. Joel Fleischman. My cousin, Matt, reminds me of him. He lives in Estes Park, Colorado (wherever the fuck that is) and, like the rest of his family, is brilliant. He also seems happy being so far away from mainstream society and living in, what many would call, the Great Outdoors.
Huh? Weird.
I'm guess in a negative mood today, O'Connell. |
