Excalibur
What is it with Excalibur? And why do I consistently enjoy it so much? This movie is a portrait
of everything that was wrong with the film making of its era. It's an epic story trying to be an
epic movie- which is usually a recipe for total disaster.
Why I like this movie so much contradicts with my main gripes for The Lord of the Rings
Trilogy. Whereas those movies were so long and so dramatic, Excalibur came across like the
Cliff Notes for the story. The movie was still pretty damn long though, and it had two (that's
right) scenes with bare-naked boobs. But the story kept moving; Excalibur didn't make you
want to bring a friend to wake you when "The Fellowship" started walking somewhere again.
Though, man, this flick still shows its age. I speak specifically of several scenes, most of which
are in the very beginning. The beginning of this movie has this weird battle scene, which
involves Merlin and then a banquet and a dancing girl and a bunch of angry/horny dudes and
then some more war. It's way weird.
Those scenes, though, are forgivable; even Casablanca isn't perfect (read: no explosions).
But, the lamest part of Excalibur has got to be the first fight between Arthur and Lancelot
(when they first meet). What the fuck? Lancelot kicks Arthur's ass and then Arthur totally
cheats, with his kick-ass sword, and whoops Lancelot's ass. The sword gets broken in the
process but the Lady of the Lake (LOTL) makes the sword all good again, and then gives it
back to Arthur. Arthur then feels all guilty for the whole thing and has a revelation that he
shouldn't have whooped Lancelot's ass for vanity or whatever. Gay.
First of all, who cares? Lancelot was insolent. You are the king. You get to smite his pasty ass.
That's why it's "good to be the king," and that's why it's also "good to have a magic sword."
Hey Arthur, perhaps if you would have just stabbed him he wouldn't have boned your chick in
the third act?
What is it with Excalibur? And why do I consistently enjoy it so much? This movie is a portrait
of everything that was wrong with the film making of its era. It's an epic story trying to be an
epic movie- which is usually a recipe for total disaster.
Why I like this movie so much contradicts with my main gripes for The Lord of the Rings
Trilogy. Whereas those movies were so long and so dramatic, Excalibur came across like the
Cliff Notes for the story. The movie was still pretty damn long though, and it had two (that's
right) scenes with bare-naked boobs. But the story kept moving; Excalibur didn't make you
want to bring a friend to wake you when "The Fellowship" started walking somewhere again.
Though, man, this flick still shows its age. I speak specifically of several scenes, most of which
are in the very beginning. The beginning of this movie has this weird battle scene, which
involves Merlin and then a banquet and a dancing girl and a bunch of angry/horny dudes and
then some more war. It's way weird.
Those scenes, though, are forgivable; even Casablanca isn't perfect (read: no explosions).
But, the lamest part of Excalibur has got to be the first fight between Arthur and Lancelot
(when they first meet). What the fuck? Lancelot kicks Arthur's ass and then Arthur totally
cheats, with his kick-ass sword, and whoops Lancelot's ass. The sword gets broken in the
process but the Lady of the Lake (LOTL) makes the sword all good again, and then gives it
back to Arthur. Arthur then feels all guilty for the whole thing and has a revelation that he
shouldn't have whooped Lancelot's ass for vanity or whatever. Gay.
First of all, who cares? Lancelot was insolent. You are the king. You get to smite his pasty ass.
That's why it's "good to be the king," and that's why it's also "good to have a magic sword."
Hey Arthur, perhaps if you would have just stabbed him he wouldn't have boned your chick in
the third act?
