Dawn of the Dead
DOTD, the remake, was rad. Maddox, whose site I find greatly entertaining, has a whole rant
about this movie and how cool it is. You can read it here. I'll try not to hit the same points he
does.
As you probably just read Maddox's commentary and know what made DOTD so cool (boobs,
zombies, guns, old ladies getting stabbed in the head with big iron rods), I won't list anything
more. I'll get on with the list of lameness:
1- No naked, hot-chick zombies.
2- The guy who owns the gun shop across the road from the mall has a whole bunch of
ammo, probably several hundred thousand rounds. Why not just shoot all the zombies and not
just the ones that look like Jay Leno? Do I have to think of everything?
3- There isn't a scene in which the protagonists are watching the evening news and it turns
out that the cameraman is a zombie. That would be cool because I'm pretty sure he'd eat the
reporter and film the whole process.
4- The zombie childbirth scene. A zombie sex scene is one thing (a la Dead Alive), but zombie
childbirth is just wrong.
5- The super-cool busses that they make to escape the mall can't build up enough speed to
plow through a bunch of soft-ass human bodies. Better write a letter to the Ford Motor
Company.
6- Even if the super-cool busses had more power, it wouldn't matter. Apparently if one stops
driving for a week, and takes some time off to kill zombies, one totally forgets how to drive.
Hey, idiots, SLOW DOWN A LITTLE. Then maybe we wouldn't flip the busses over and kill
the slutty chick that provides the only potential to see more ass for the rest of the movie.
7- Zombies can't sail. Ever heard of a little boat called the Exxon Valdez? Proof positive.
DOTD, the remake, was rad. Maddox, whose site I find greatly entertaining, has a whole rant
about this movie and how cool it is. You can read it here. I'll try not to hit the same points he
does.
As you probably just read Maddox's commentary and know what made DOTD so cool (boobs,
zombies, guns, old ladies getting stabbed in the head with big iron rods), I won't list anything
more. I'll get on with the list of lameness:
1- No naked, hot-chick zombies.
2- The guy who owns the gun shop across the road from the mall has a whole bunch of
ammo, probably several hundred thousand rounds. Why not just shoot all the zombies and not
just the ones that look like Jay Leno? Do I have to think of everything?
3- There isn't a scene in which the protagonists are watching the evening news and it turns
out that the cameraman is a zombie. That would be cool because I'm pretty sure he'd eat the
reporter and film the whole process.
4- The zombie childbirth scene. A zombie sex scene is one thing (a la Dead Alive), but zombie
childbirth is just wrong.
5- The super-cool busses that they make to escape the mall can't build up enough speed to
plow through a bunch of soft-ass human bodies. Better write a letter to the Ford Motor
Company.
6- Even if the super-cool busses had more power, it wouldn't matter. Apparently if one stops
driving for a week, and takes some time off to kill zombies, one totally forgets how to drive.
Hey, idiots, SLOW DOWN A LITTLE. Then maybe we wouldn't flip the busses over and kill
the slutty chick that provides the only potential to see more ass for the rest of the movie.
7- Zombies can't sail. Ever heard of a little boat called the Exxon Valdez? Proof positive.
