Item #1: The Standard Issue Imperial Blaster
Who, on what far, far away planet holds the patent to this thing? If ever there was a more
imperfect weapon, I haven't seen it. It figures that the Imperial government would
contract out for a bazillion of these things.
If the Star Wars saga has taught us anything, it's that these blasters, while apparently
accurate when being used to fake a raid by Sandpeople, have no use for shooting live and
moving targets. One need look no further than the rescue of Princess Leia on the first
Death Star. Several thousand "elite" Imperial Stormtroopers were completely incapable
of even winging a shot at an enormous, hairy, ape-like thing, a farm boy, a chick in a dress
and a dude in a leather vest. Great work.
This begs the question, "Why the hell did you bother outfitting this pile with a scope?"
Seriously, what possible purpose is that serving? I know it's not being used in combat (see
previous paragraph). And what's with the safety? Are we afraid the gun might go off and
actually HIT SOMETHING?
Hey Empire! I have an idea. Let's make a little money and help out the budget a tad by
playing crackhead and recycling these useless things. Then we can go over to Tatooine, pick
up a bunch of rocks, and use those instead.
Who, on what far, far away planet holds the patent to this thing? If ever there was a more
imperfect weapon, I haven't seen it. It figures that the Imperial government would
contract out for a bazillion of these things.
If the Star Wars saga has taught us anything, it's that these blasters, while apparently
accurate when being used to fake a raid by Sandpeople, have no use for shooting live and
moving targets. One need look no further than the rescue of Princess Leia on the first
Death Star. Several thousand "elite" Imperial Stormtroopers were completely incapable
of even winging a shot at an enormous, hairy, ape-like thing, a farm boy, a chick in a dress
and a dude in a leather vest. Great work.
This begs the question, "Why the hell did you bother outfitting this pile with a scope?"
Seriously, what possible purpose is that serving? I know it's not being used in combat (see
previous paragraph). And what's with the safety? Are we afraid the gun might go off and
actually HIT SOMETHING?
Hey Empire! I have an idea. Let's make a little money and help out the budget a tad by
playing crackhead and recycling these useless things. Then we can go over to Tatooine, pick
up a bunch of rocks, and use those instead.
